Yeah, the other side of relationships. The Battlefield.
I float around on a lot of these blogs, and sometimes I think, 'Everybody's life just seems so happy. So perfect.'
Can anyone else out there relate to me??? Am I the only one who feels like sometimes love and relationships are (cough, cough) less than perfect??? That they can be hard sometimes?
I'm sure nobody wants to hang their dirty laundry out there for all of cyber-world to see - I am not saying they even should. Some things are private and should be kept between you and your man. Absolutely true.
Maybe we women are trying to respect our men and paint them in a positive light - and that is great. I am all for showing our men respect and think that is totally appropriate.
But being newly-engaged and soon-to-be-married, I guess I am curious to hear how other couples deal with conflicts in their relationships - I can use all the insight I can get! And I haven't really seen a lot written about that.
I don't know if there is a 'right' way - each couple is so individual. And we are all works in progress. But I guess sometimes I want re-assurance that we are "OK." "Normal." Not that we are being graded, but I guess sometimes I want to know where we fall on the Bell Curve. But that's just me...the recovering perfectionist.
[I have to add this disclaimer - of course - you knew that was coming: things are actually very good with the J-man and myself. For real! They are!]
But I admit that it takes a lot of mental energy always trying to decipher the best way to deal with conflict.
To not react emotionally.
To seek to understand before being understood.
To think logically about what way of communicating is effective and what is just a waste of time.
To know which battles are worth fighting and which ones will only put us on separate sides instead of on the same team.
They told us in our pre-covenant classes that women see the world through pink glasses, hear with pink hearing aids and speak through a pink megaphone.
Men, on the other hand - yep, you guessed it: blue glasses, blue hearing aid and blue megaphones (That came from Love and Respect by the Eggerichs). And I am sure that those differences alone cause most of the skirmishes.
It's a lot of energy to just try and understand them as men.
So I guess I am curious to hear from you ladies - married, engaged, dating, newly-wed and even singles... Can you relate to this??? What kinds of things have come in between you and your man? How do you resolve it? What have been your experiences with this? (It's OK to be honest but no male bashing here! I hope we all love our men and want to respect them!)
Relationships. It's all about love - but it can feel like war sometimes...
It's a lot of energy.
But to have a relationship with a good man, to love him and experience his love in return, I've found, that is worth fighting for.
(PS...God is teaching me a few lessons about this, too. I'll share some in future blogs.)
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