Friday, February 5, 2010

The Silver Lining

I am still trying to find it. Yes, it has been one of those days. It started with a bad dream I woke up from early this morning...I had this dream that James and I were fighting, and he just would not talk to me! I kept trying to resolve it, and he would just walk away and ignore me! It was terrible!

When the fog cleared and I realized it was only a dream, I still had this heaviness on my heart. Then I remembered...last night, I had gotten an email from a bridesmaid who wasn't sure if she could be in my wedding anymore. I totally understood the reasons, but I just felt so deflated [It might still work out, but it's just a bummer].

I rolled out of bed, got my cup of coffee, journaled for a little while and then checked my email. Well, in it was a totally unexpected email from a very close friend who was apparently very upset with me about something pertaining to the wedding 'bring a guest' issue.

'You aren't serious, right???' was all I could think. And this wasn't the first time this issue had come up either. Didn't people get it when you are paying for a wedding yourself and you have to cut even close friends and other family members because you can't afford to invite them???

Slowly, my enthusiasm was draining.

And, by around 1pm, I got the bad news: my bridal shower, that was supposed to be tomorrow, was being canceled due to the threat of snow. We are in a precarious stretch of this East Coast storm, where we could get a lot or nothing. But they couldn't risk it - so they postponed it until 2 weeks later.

At that point, I was just done. This was too much for me - too much drama, too much work. Where was all of this experience that people blog about saying how much fun wedding planning is? I keep waiting for it to get fun. It hasn't been. I know that is sad to say, but I don't know if it has been fun yet. I know the end result will be great, but this process hasn't been.

In the grand scheme of things, I know this isn't a huge deal. The bridal shower will happen [and even if it didn't, it's not the end of the world - alot of people have it far worse. I know.] The wedding will happen, and the people who care enough about us will be there. But I just didn't anticipate all this. It's not fun. I keep waiting for it to be fun.

So, trying not to camp out in the land of sulky-poor-me-feel-sorry-for-me, I'm off to find the silver lining. I know it is there. And I know that there have been some alot of good things that have happened through all of this. I know that, for sure. And deep in my heart, I know things will all work out and there are reasons for everything. I know everything will be fine.

But is it OK if I look for it tomorrow? I know I shouldn't camp out here, but I might just lie down and take a nap for a little while. I'll be over this spot by morning and will be ready for some new scenery. And I'm sure the world will look a little brighter by then.

silver lining n.
A hopeful or comforting prospect in the midst of difficulty

Yeah, it's there. It's definitely there. But a little sleep might help me see it better in the morning.


  1. Oh sweetness, some days are like that. (even in Australia!)

    I remember I cried a lot when we planned our wedding. Just keep looking forward. Everything will come together as God has planned it and will bless your wonderful day.

  2. Oh! Oh! I have never encountered such rudeness until I planned our wedding. I could not Believe the guest drama I had to deal with. People wanting to bring people, a best man threatening to not attend if his kid couldn't come (we decided no kids and had to turn away Other people's kids.. What? Best man couldn't plan ahead? He had a YEAR!), we even had people RSVP who hadn't been invited! And then After the wedding, we heard from all corners "Why weren't we invited?" Well.. cuz you're our realtor, not our grandma..

    Wedding planning was not fun. I don't think it ever really became giddy joy. I was very relieved when my mom and maid of honor rolled into town because I finally had someone to help me combat the mother in law and make it all better, but it really wasn't.. fun.

    Maybe it was the tiny budget, maybe it's the nature of wedding planning. I dunno.

    Your day will be beautiful and perfect, though. Tomorrow will be better. It's ok to be bummed today. That's a lot all at once.

  3. Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest! You know, I don't know where the myth that wedding planning is so fun comes from. We had a few "fun" moments here and there, but mostly it was a lot of work. It always amazes me how rude people can be--just inviting extra guests, etc. Especially when you KNOW some of them have planned weddings in the past, so they know they should remember the work and money that is involved in pulling off a wedding.

    Hang in there and keep your eye on the prize. All that really matters is that, at the end of the day, you're married! Things will go wrong between now and then, and on the day itself, and you have to remember that the only thing you can control 100% is your attitude. You will have a great wedding day. Things have a way of falling into place the way they should.

  4. someone who has been through it I have to remind you to still try to ENJOY it all! Weddings are stressful but remember that this is all about YOU! Yup your friend can shut it comes to bringing's about what YOU want! As for the shower I am so sorry...stupid weather people! ***HUGS!***