Saturday, December 12, 2009

A Day All Our Own

So now that most of the major vendor shopping is done, I have been able to just let my mind wander to think about what kind of day I want this to be. I feel pressured in a lot of ways from all these blogs and wedding websites. They sort of spell out for you what this day should look like. I guess I was just going with the flow for a while, but I've started to pull back a little bit. This day should be about US - me and James - and what we are all about as a couple.

That being said, I have been putting some thoughts into how we can make our wedding reflect us, not just a standard, plug-in-the-generic-wedding-items kind of wedding. Here are a few thoughts I came up with:

  • The invitation wording: This was one area I wanted James' input because he is so articulate and good with words. I went back and forth, but here is the text we may use because I feel like it expresses what our day is about:

Together with the Lord

Katherine M.


James David L.

have reached a decision

to unite their lives as one with Him.

They, joined with their parents,

invite you to worship with them and

celebrate their marriage covenant

I like it because it mentions:
  1. 'Together with the Lord' - we didn't get to this point apart from Him
  2. 'reached a decision' - it wasn't just a romantic, emotional decision (although that has been involved), but it is a prayer, rational, conscious choice we are making
  3. 'unite our lives as one with Him' - we are not only uniting with each other, but uniting ourselves and uniting with Him in the center of it
  4. 'joined with our parents' - we have their blessing and they are an important part of our lives
  5. 'worship with us' - because it is about worshiping God for us; He is the center and for His glory is why we want our marriage to exist - as a demonstration of worship; and finally
  6. 'celebrate our marriage covenant' - it is a celebration - we are grateful for God's hand in our lives and it is not just a wedding but a solemn, sacred, unbreakable covenant we are making before God Almighty. That is serious and deep and heavy - and wonderful.
  • The Reception: James and I aren't big dancers or party-people, for various reasons. We are just sort of low-key and don't really like to be the center of attention. I have been thinking of something to sort of 'fill the time' when, at most weddings, people are dancing. [People are welcome to dance if they want - it is going to be more of a 'cocktail party' type of atmosphere, though, so we aren't really pushing it]. I didn't want to do something just to 'do something.' But I was thinking about what might represent US as a couple. And I think I would like to have someone lead us in worship for a while. We want Jesus to be the center of attention that day, not us. It won't be a big stand-up worship service, but maybe someone just to lead us in a few of our favorite songs. I was worried it might be a little cheesy, but I don't care. It is our day and I think it would be a very sweet Presence of the Holy Spirit incorporated into atmosphere.
  • The Favors: I am not sure about this one yet. I had thought of making a donation in leiu of favors, since we are both mission-oriented. But I have to admit, I still like the aesthetics of having pretty favors on the table. So, instead of just doing candles or coasters or keychains -which are fine but maybe a little generic - I think I am going to do custom-made bookmarks. James and I met at Border's Bookstore, both of us looking at CS Lewis books. So literature and our love of the Lord was a big factor in bringing us together. I think that would sort of personalize it, but also giving them something useful. I don't want our face plastered on it, but maybe just a quote about love from CS Lewis on the front, in our wedding colors, and a small thank you on the back.
So, that is as far as I have gotten. I have a few thoughts for the ceremony and programs, but there will be time for that as we go on. But, I am seeing more and more that I want our day to reflect US, not the expectations society puts on us for this day. We have to feel good about this; it should reflect what is important to us, not the opinions of others.

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